on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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