whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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