SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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