she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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