Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
