i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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