it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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