Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He? As in you personified your dick?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
