do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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