Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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