We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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