oh god the rape fog is back!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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