Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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