Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
