I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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