i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
