hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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