Kareoke will never be a sober sport
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
