According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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