Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
