Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
do nipples grow back?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
