Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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