yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The air was thick with penises
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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