Farmville is her only friend.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
