Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
