Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
