I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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