giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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