What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
