the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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