i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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