Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
