How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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