standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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