I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
