I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
