so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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