Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize