do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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