You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
