My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
