i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize