All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
