Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
