I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
