...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize