Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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