Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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