Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
