He is an equal opportunity slut.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
