took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
