I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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