This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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