If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Boobs speak an international language.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
