How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
