I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
