Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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