OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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