Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i have herpe
just one?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
