Fuck appropriateness.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
