i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
