no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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