Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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